Peer-e-Kamil (S.A.W) By Umera Ahmad In English Page 09

Peer-e-Kamil(S.A.w)

Peer-e-Kamil(S.A.W) First Chapter

They were both quiet once again. Asjad was beginning to worry: Imama

had not always been as withdrawn as she was now. One could have

counted the words she had spoken in the last half hour. He had known

her since childhood; she was a lively girl. In the first year after their

engagement, Asjad had felt happy in her company—she was so quick-

witted and vivacious. But in the last few years, she had changed, the

transformation having become more pronounced since she started

medical school. Asjad felt that she had something on her mind. At times,

she would appear to be worried and sometimes she was distinctly cold

and distant as though she wanted to end their meeting and leave as soon

as possible. This time too he had the same feeling.

=I often think that it is I who insists on our meeting—perhaps it makes

little difference to you whether we meet or not,‘ he said despondently.

She was sitting on a garden chair across from him, looking at the

creepers on the boundary wall. At Asjad‘s remark, she fixed her gaze on

him. He cast an inquiring glance, but she was silent, so he rephrased his

words.

=My coming here makes no difference to you. Imama…am I right?‘

=What can I say?‘

=At least you can say .No, you‘re mistaken., that …‘

=No, you‘re mistaken,‘ Imama cut him short. Her tone was as cold and

her expression as indifferent as before.

Asjad sighed in despair.

=Yes, I wish and pray that it may be so, that I may indeed be mistaken.

However, talking to you I feel you do not care.‘

=What makes you think so?‘

Asjad detected a note of annoyance in her tone.

=Many things—for one you never respond properly to anything I say.‘

=I do make every effort to reply properly to whatever you say. What can

I do if you do not like what I have to say?‘

Asjad felt that she was more annoyed.

=I did not mean that I did not like what you say: it‘s that you only say

.yes. or .no. in response. Sometimes, I feel as if I‘m talking to myself.‘

=When you ask me if I am well, I say .yes. or .no.—what else can I

say? If you want to hear a spiel in response to a simple question then tell

me what you would like to hear and I‘ll say it.‘ She was serious.

=You could add something to that .yes. or .no.. If nothing else, ask me

how I am.‘

=Ask you how are you are? You are sitting here across me, talking to

me—obviously you are quite well. Otherwise, you‘d be at home, in bed,

sick.‘

=Imama, these are formalities…‘

=And you know very well that I do not believe in formalities. There‘s no

need for you to ask me how I am; I will not mind it at all.‘

Asjad was speechless. =Fine. Formalities aside, one can talk of other

things, discuss something. Talk to each other about what interests us,

what keeps us busy.‘

=Asjad, what can I discuss with you? You‘re a businessman, I am a

medical student, What should I ask you? About the stock market

position? Was the trend bullish or bearish? By how many points did the

index rise? Or where you are sending the next consignment? How much

rebate did the government give you this time?‘ she went on coldly. =Or

shall I discuss anatomy with you? What affects the function of the liver?

What new techniques have been used for bypass surgery this year?

What should be the voltage of electric shocks given to restore a failing

heart? These are our spheres of work, so what points of discussion can

we have about these that will help us to achieve love and familiarity? I

fail to understand.‘

The color of Asjad‘s face deepened. He was cursing the moment that he

had complained to Imama.

=There are other interests too in a person‘s life,‘ he said weakly.

=No, besides my studies there‘s no other interest in my life,‘ Imama said

decisively, shaking her head for emphasis.

=After all, we shared interests earlier on.‘

=Forget about what happened earlier,‘ Imama interjected. =I cannot

afford to waste time now. What surprises me is that despite being a

businessman you are so immature and emotional; you should be more

practical.‘

Asjad was silent.

=We know our relationship. If you think my practical approach to our

relationship shows a lack of interest or indifference then I cannot do

much about it. That I am here with you means that I value this

relationship, otherwise I would not be sitting here having tea with a

stranger.‘ She paused a moment, then continued, =And whether you

coming here or not makes any difference to me, the answer is that we

are both very busy people. We are the products of a modern age. I am

no Heer who waits upon you with delicacies while you play the flute, nor

are you Ranjha who will indulge me for hours. The truth is that it really

makes no difference whether or not we meet or talk. Our relationship,

as it is today, will continue. Or do you feel it will change?‘

If Asjad‘s brow did not sweat, it was simply because it was the month of

December. There was a difference of eight years in their ages, but for

the first time Asjad felt it was not eight but eighteen—and she was the

older one. Just two weeks ago, she had turned nineteen, but to him it

seemed as if she had raced overnight from teenage to middle age and he

had regressed to his pre-teens! She sat across him, legs crossed and eyes

fixed on his face, impassively waiting for his response. Asjad looked at

the engagement ring on her finger and cleared his throat.

=You‘re right…I just thought we should chat more because it would

help develop some understanding between us.‘

=Asjad, I know and understand you very well. I am disappointed to

learn that you think we still need to develop an understanding between

us. I thought there already was a good deal of understanding.‘

Asjad had to accept that it wasn‘t his day.

=And if you think that talking about business and anatomy will improve

the situation, then very well—we‘ll do that in the future.‘ There was an

element of disinterest in Imama‘s tone.

=You‘re not happy with what I said?‘

=Why should I be unhappy?‘ This embarrassed him further.

=Perhaps I said the wrong thing…not perhaps, but certainly I said the

wrong thing.‘ He repeated the last phrase with emphasis. =You know

how important this relationship is for me. I have many dreams for the

future…‘

He took a deep breath. She continued to stare, expressionless, at the

creeper along the wall. =Perhaps that is why I am so sensitive about it. I

have no fears about us. This engagement took place with our consent.‘

His gaze was fixed on her and he spoke with emotion, but suddenly, he

felt once more that she was not there, that he was talking to himself.